A year.

My exotic dance permit expires on April 26th, so I've only got about 2 more weeks before I have go to the Dekalb County courthouse and either get myself another one, or quit stripping all together.

When I first came to Atlanta, I went around to clubs asking if they were hiring waitresses or shooter girls. Every manager I spoke to asked me if I had danced before, or if I wanted to. "I used to, but I think I'm too old for it now," I said. I laughed them off.

Now? Well...

I don't think I'm ready to quit stripping yet. Maybe getting a real job will make me cut back on how often I work, but I really don't want to stop now. For me, stripping is a perfect job to have when you are young and have few other obligations and constraints on your time. It's a job you take when your body is still lean, flexible and strong enough to put on a real show on stage. When you still have the stamina to dance all night and be able to wake up at noon the next day feeling like you wouldn't mind doing it all over again.

To quit now would mean I am telling myself that I can't do it anymore. I refuse to capitulate to the idea of being too grown up to dance anymore. I think I still have a lot more stage sets to perform. I just finished a 6 week series of private lessons; my stamina and technique have benefited a lot. It would be a shame to stop now. I'm good now, but I could be better. The comments I get encourage me to go on - "wow, you are DYNAMITE!" - "finally, somebody with talent on stage!" - "you are a true performer"...

I'll admit that I originally started dancing in Atlanta as an excuse to have more pole practice time and get paid for it. The stage tips I earn pay for my pole classes and in turn, I use what I learn in pole class to improve my stage show. But dancing has come to mean more to me. I have never been able to find the same kind of camaraderie between dancers anywhere else. (Though, I admit I have very few female friends.) I like being able to reclaim my femininity and perform my femininity as an act of rebellion against the staid world of academia. My husband is away from home often - if I didn't work, I'd probably just be sitting on my ass watching Glee all night. If nothing else, it gives me something to do on my free nights.

I just plain don't won't to quit. I wonder if I'll still feel this way next year?

Plus I jut bought a couple of new outfits and two new pairs of shoes, so I've got to earn back the investment on THAT, at least.